CBs, trailers, probably jerky. A real-deal no-shit convoy leaves the Windy City for the Music City pretty soon and I can already tell that one of my greatest regrets will be not having been able to go on this odyssey with the Houses. Five hundred miles of potential comedy, and I can’t go. But I like to think I would get to be Kris Kristofferson (Rubber Duck) and Andrew would be Spider Mike, the one who gets locked up briefly before the convoy busts down the jail, transforming Rubber Duck (me) into a reluctant folk hero and setting in motion the events that would eventually lead to a Mexican border machine gun showdown. Oh, and a fake death. Faking one’s death used to be a viable option in the days before the internet. Especially for dudes like the Duck.